Thanks to Selling Sunset, Chrishell Stause has fast become an international sensation. But the soap actor-turned-real estate mogul and reality TV icon wasn’t always as glamorous as she is now.
In fact, Stause says that as a child, she was often bullied for her appearance. It wasn’t until college that she decided to reinvent herself, going by her middle name, Chrishell, instead of her birth name, Terrina. “I’ve had a glow up. That’s what they call it now,” she tells BAZAAR.com while discussing her first book, Under Construction: Because Living My Best Life Took a Little Work. “It is crazy to me when people will assume that I came from pageants, and I’m just like, ‘It could not have been possibly further from that.'”
The book touches on her romantic relationships, too—her public split from ex-husband Justin Hartley and her recent romance with her Selling Sunset costar Jason Oppenheim—but it’s about so much more. Here, BAZAAR catches up with Chrishell to get the whole story.
We feel like we’ve gotten to know you on Selling Sunset, but in Under Construction, you reveal that you were bullied about your teeth and for having a mustache as a kid. How did you deal with the bullying and go on to cultivate the confidence you have now?
You slowly start to come up with these comebacks to protect yourself and seem tough. I didn’t have the tools back then; there wasn’t YouTube. My mom, who was lovely, was a free hippie, but she’s not the kind of person that would be like, “Come on, we’re going to this salon, we’re going to wax this off, or we’re going to fix your teeth.” She’d be like, “Oh, you’re beautiful.”
There were so many things going on in my home that it was a constant struggle to try and fit in [at] school. I didn’t have the necessities, whether it was the right clothes or the right access to certain things. … So I already had the odds stacked up against me. And then you add in a mustache and a rogue tooth; it didn’t go well for me in the popularity scenario.
But obviously, those are such easy fixes. I ended up getting braces in college when I could finally afford them. I’m very for doing whatever you can do to feel good about yourself. It’s so funny to me now, people always comment on my smile, but for half my life, I tried not to smile.
You had so many different jobs before you got into acting—my favorite was Walmart Barbie. What was it like dressing up as Barbie and signing Barbie boxes for kids? And what was your favorite job from your pre-acting days?
I have to say I was super flattered. Again, this happened when I was in college. To go from the kid nobody wants to sit by to all of a sudden a job is paying me to be Barbie was quite the compliment. The outfit was terrible. It looked like a Halloween, one-size-fits-all, polyester situation happening. But I was so excited to be there, and I loved every second of it.
And the little girls … they really, actually believed that I was Barbie. They would ask me questions. It was sweet and just adorable really.
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Because that was such a short-term thing, I think the one [job] that I still identify with the most, because it was my first real job at 16, was at Dairy Queen. I ended up working there for a really long time, through high school, even a little bit when I was in college and commuting. And then I became the manager. I feel like that was my first foray into leadership. I took a lot of pride in my cone swirl.
I was also really surprised to read that you were almost the Bachelorette. How did that come about? And what do you think your life would be like now if that had happened?
It’s so crazy to think about how these things work out. At the time, I was working on All My Children and they approached me. I was a model for a perfume company and they were going to do a campaign, “Win a Date with Amanda Dillon.” So they were going to do this cross-promotion thing.
Now there’s a formula [to The Bachelorette]. … But this formula actually began that season, because Brad Womack picked neither girl. And then, of course, everybody wanted justice for the heartbreak that they witnessed for the woman that was left standing there.
We were set to go, filmed all the stuff and the packages. But [in the end], I don’t think that was my path. I can see watching the show now. I don’t think whoever I would’ve met at 26 years old on that show would have been my person. It would’ve been a mess. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with that public mess until much later, when I knew who I was, and I could hopefully handle it a little better.
One of the most beautiful parts of the book is when you talk about your parents, both of whom passed away from cancer. This really resonated with me, because my mom died of cancer a few years ago. How did you cope with losing them both when you were going through such a traumatic time in your personal life, which was all over the tabloids? How did you deal with being in the public eye and dealing with that personal loss?
It kind of felt like a one-two punch of everything going on. After losing my dad and going through this divorce, I didn’t really feel like I was on the way on my feet yet. And then, I learned that my mom had cancer. My dad had had it for four years, so I really had a false sense of security that I had time with her, when I actually only had months left. We obviously didn’t know that at the time. I can’t imagine anything being harder than that. It’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.
I’ve tried to adapt to this new normal. I don’t think that’s something you recover from. I don’t. I think that it’s something that changes you. There’s so many times I’ll get excited because I know how proud she would be. But then, it’s a double-edged sword, because it’s extremely sad that you can’t share it with her. Or those times where a girl just needs her mom—you know this.
So, as hard as it is to open up, I really feel like it gives purpose to the pain, because then it helps heal. Writing this book was really cathartic.
I loved when you were talking about how your mom used to call Justin [Hartley] Jacob. That, to me, was just hilarious.
“Are you doing it on purpose at this point?” It totally was.
I feel like towards the end, our relationship was the best it ever was. Then, of course, you feel like you didn’t get enough time. If somebody’s angry at a parent, maybe this might encourage them to give them a call.
You share some hilariously bad dating stories in the book. But you also talk about your recent romance with Jason [Oppenheim]. We know that you went your separate ways, but are you still on good terms? And can you tell us anything about how that ended?
Obviously, it’s hard at first. In the beginning, it was a little like, “Okay, this could be awkward.” But I have to say, we both made it a priority to work through this. At the end of the day, we’re both sad that we don’t want the same things. There’s heartbreak there for different reasons on both sides, but there’s also a lot of love there. I truly, just really do feel his support, and I know he feels the same for me.
When people break up, at least for me in the past, I would see it as a failure. But I will always be proud of this relationship and my friendship with Jason. And we’re obviously still very close.
You caused quite a stir when you posted a photo on Instagram, writing, “These eggs aren’t going to fertilize themselves.” So I wanted to ask, if it’s okay, where are you now with freezing your eggs? And are you hoping to start your family soon?
I did one round of freezing my eggs when I was doing Dancing with the Stars. And then, when the breakup happened, I wanted to take control of my future, so I wanted to do one more round. I got into the process, but then I realized I’m going on a book tour. And these things have to be refrigerated to a very specific degree. I can’t be on a plane and doing all this. So I am going to do one more round soon.
I know a lot of women are in my situation, where you have these plans and they don’t [happen]. And so, I think it’s just about embracing this new normal. Obviously, nobody could have expected what last year brought. And same with marriage: People end up in a place where they thought they had it figured out, but then they don’t, and they’re starting over. So I’m entering this year very open-minded, with the best hopes in place.
I’m at a place where I think I will have a family one way or the other, and I don’t know what form that will take. That’s a privilege, and I’m endlessly grateful that I’m able to make that decision. Again, [Selling Sunset] has been such a blessing. It’s a pain in the ass a lot of times—I’m not going to lie—but there’s not a single moment that overshadows the fact that this is a golden goose egg that I’m just so grateful for.
I think that this is the most rewarding, happiest place I am in my life, even though it looks completely different than what I had imagined.
In Under Construction, you write about the criticism you received when you retrained in real estate. How did you cope with that criticism? And how do you feel now that Selling Sunset is a massive success?
It wasn’t a decision that I made because things were just so successful and amazing. I was scrambling to come up with a plan B. I had been working for several years and had been saving. But you go through a year of no work, and you’re just wondering when the next job is. At the time when I got that criticism, it was a little tough, just because you have those doubts in yourself. You have those insecurities.
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It was a little difficult just because it’s embarrassing. You’re sitting in an open house and you can tell [the clients are] disappointed, like, “Wait, didn’t you play this character on this show? What are you doing here?”
Maybe it was training for being in a global show and getting tons of criticism. Now, you could literally call me anything straight to my face and I’d be like, “Have a great day. It was good to talk to you.” Something that seems really terrible at the time, so many times it’s a blessing and you have to learn to pivot.
What can you tell us about Selling Sunset Season 5? I’m sure, nothing, but I have to ask.
There were a lot of questions left at the end of Season 4. I’m excited for the viewers to be able to get some closure.
Of course, we’ve got some of the biggest real estate deals. Each season, we have to outdo ourselves. And there’s the personal aspect that is a little bittersweet for me. I entered into filming 5 in a completely different place—being in love with Jason, and then having that not work out.
But, that being said, I’m not going to judge myself on that. I lived that life, and it’s a relationship I’m really proud of. It’s not at all comparable to a breakup I’ve had before. This one, even though it’s bittersweet, we’ll be watching it together. We’ll be supporting each other through it.
Under Construction by Chrishell Stause is out now from Simon & Schuster.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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Chrishell Stause Can Survive Anything
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